From grief to joy

Life is wonderful and it has fantastic possibilities. The only limitations for achieving anything, are the ones we put up ourselves. When my one year older brother sadly was torn away from us in september 1991 my life came to a turning point. In the midst of this crisis I strongly felt an inner force growing and a voice spoke to me saying: "I will make my time on Earth meaningful and valuable." As a part of the grieving-process I started giving lectures to schoolchildren on topics like: drugs, violence and their unavoidable consequenses. Nowadays I rather speak for things than against, since I’ve noticed that what I focus on I seem to attract.Six years of searching
For about 6 years after my brother passed away I did a spiritual jouney in the outside world as well as within. I travelled for three years, lived in temples for 8 months, I studied native-american history and behaviour-science at Växjö University (3 years) and made my living from busking on the streets a well as playing in bars all over Europe. All this time my guitar has been a faithful friend and with the guitar on my belly and a drum on my back (al’a Don Patridge) I won the first price in a Swedish Busking Festival (70 participants). After that I started to focus and sing more about peace and my journey continued alone in the woods….

A cabin in the woods
When I settled in the woods of Småland (Southeast Sweden) 1997 my creating of new songs really got a positive push forward. After being alone for 8 months I started writning music from within and in the timespan of one year I wrote more than 200 songs. Music that in one way or another have the message of peace and oneness. The songwriting became so simple, when I started writing songs from my own perspective and hereby I got new faith in my own ability. Instead of trying to write a song, I simply let the music flow through me, just like the pinetrees swaying in the wind. Long periods passed by, when I neither listened to the radio, nor watched TV, read newspapers or even talked to anyone. Out of all this a new trust and joy for living grew in me. I realized that I had to start with changing myself from the inside and that I can choose to be joyful even if people around me are not. It became clear to me that until this time in my life I often did seek others’ confirmation and mainly lived for others’ needs, unable to sense the deep love to life that is the everyones birthright. This insight strengthened me even more while talking to a friend that recently had become a sober alcoholic. As I realized he needed support I told him "Come up to me in the woods and I'll help you". He answered: "Yes I’d be glad to do so, but do it for your own sake and not for mine". I then realized that in every meeting there’s a message and a lesson to be learnt. And to be able to teach or help anyone anything I also have to see that the other person has something to teach me.Love and fear
"Those who don’t seek the approval from others are the ones that most likely will receive it". (Wayne Dyer)
On my path as a pupil of life, I’ve learnt the importance of seeking inside of myself, finding my own unique way. There are as many unique paths as there are people and I’ve come to see that we all carry our own answers deep within ourselves. To have the courage to walk ones’ own path is the way to be honest to myself. It is our own choice if we want to live by the deepest truths of life. Man(and woman!) is from my point of view solely good/pure love and all evil is only an outcome of fear. It’s up to every individual to face, go through it and get deliverance from it. A saying from the native americans tells us: "Start with yourself, then your family, then your village, your country, the world..." Nelson Mandela gives the same message when saying: "Be the change that you wish to see in the world". I once heard an old woman say: "If I could re-live my life I would have taken more risks". Life has to a great deal meant facing my own fears and with every fear that was eliminated I’ve created more and more space for love in my life. I often hear an inner voice saying: "As long as we fear dying we fear life". The present moment is all that really exist and to dare to die from the past in every moment is in one sense dying but also a way of giving birth to the present moment.
”Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery this moment is a gift that's why it's called the present” (from the CD "Oneness")

Inaugural Speech
A speech that has had a deep impact on me, was held by Nelson Mandela when he became the president of South Africa after being imprisoned for nearly 30 years:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we
are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that
other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory
of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our prescience automatically liberates others"
(Written by Marianne Williamsson)